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While Carrie floats away on her pro-evolution Galapagos honeymoon, Ross boards a “life-size Noah’s Ark,” shipwrecked in rural Kentucky, to attend a homeschooling conference for frightened Christian parents. Right off the bat, he learns key doctrinal issues including: which 11 chapters of the Bible have all the answers; what separates a boat from a ship; and when and why you should marry your sister.

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