Minnesota Come one, come all to witness the most marvelous of sights! A genuine mystery said to have been lifted from the frozen waters off the coast of Russia and straight from humanity’s murky past. An icy enigma that will absolutely make you question the evolutionary origins of our most ancient ancestors. A biological specimen so fantastic that Smithsonian scientists have even co-opted the FBI to try and pry it from it’s proprietor’s private collection. This hyperborean hairy hominid encased in a solid block of ice is one the world’s only preserved evidence of an as-of-yet undiscovered primate species living in isolated parts of the northern hemisphere. This case file, join the Theorists as they shell out .35 cents to take a peek at the sideshow attraction of…The Minnesota Ice Ice Man

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